I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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