I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
