Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
