he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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