there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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