Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
