I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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