Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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