Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
