I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
