From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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