he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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