weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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