mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
