it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
So many bounce houses so little time
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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