Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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