If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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