woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
