And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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