if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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