OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
