Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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