Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
