we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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