wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
