so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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