I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm just crazy horny about you
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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