you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
