My room smells like vodka and shame
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
