u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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