guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
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