I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
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