Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
