Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I think your dad took our porno
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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