Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
