I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize
