apparently the secret to your success is patron
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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