Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
