That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
