butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
