If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
its not stalking. its research.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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