Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
