You're a womanizer and a bitch.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
