How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
