What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
