Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
