Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
