his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
this just has baby written all over it
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
