fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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