I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
