I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
