I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You're like the curious george of whores
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
