Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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