My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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